Anyway, this 13th cycle is special in that it features short models. No, not midgets. Wouldn’t that be great? Short in the modeling industry is about 5’6 or shorter. Isn’t that crazy? I’m only 5’2, and if 5’6 is short, I must be tiny.

Usually with reality shows, I pick my winner right away and they end up never winning. I do like some actual winners, but they have never been my top pick. Let’s see if that can change, shall we? My pick for winner of cycle 13 of America’s-Next-Top-Model is ….

…Rae. I choose her for one reason and one reason only. Rae is the most awesome name in the world. I used to have economics class with a girl named Rae, and my friend and I had so much fun playing with her name. Try it. Rachel Rae. Raemy Winehouse. Rae Rod. Raeman. Keep on going. It will keep you busy for hours. You’re welcome. =]

A road trip has been my dream for some time now. The freedom makes it awesome. Anyway, I was wondering if there were any road trip horror stories that I should read. One obvious problem would be the car breaking down or dying. But I wanted worse. And I read some pretty bad ones. But then I got to thinking – what about road trip movies? These were the only two I could remember ever seeing.

…Yes I am aware my taste sucks. That’s why I need some good road trip movie recommendations. So – post a comment and let me know what I’ve been missing.

I also found an alleged “quote” by Ms/Mr. Gaga her/himself. However it was on a website entitled bossip.com, which isn’t even a word. Plus the quote itself is very … interestingly worded.

“?It’s not something that I’m ashamed of, just isn’t something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but I consider myself a female. It’s just a little bit of a penis and really doesn’t interfere much with my life. The reason I haven’t talked about it is that it’s not a big deal to me. Like come on. It’s not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I’m sexy, I’m hot. I have both a poon and a peener. Big f*cking deal.”?

Poon and peener? Which one is which? Why don’t I know the difference? Is there something wrong with me? Yeah clearly there is since I am talking to myself. Besides, if this is true that Lady Gaga has a penis, why hasn’t it been in the news? Unless it has? No, I don’t know. I’ve got to go now. Sorry to end my long absence with a post such as this one. I’m sick with strep throat – give me a break.

I’ve recently come across this video of Chris Brown publicly apologizing for physically abusing Rihanna. The comments on the video vary: some say Chris should still drop dead and go to hell, others don’t think the apology was sincere, few think he should just be forgiven already. I’m neither of those people. First of all, I don’t condone violence in any way. And while I love the “my flow so tight and the beat so sick. chris brown should get his ass kicked” song, I don’t think violence is the answer to violence. Chris hurt Rihanna? He’s terrible and should be punished for doing that. I believe he’s been punished enough. I imagine nothing could feel worse than being famous and losing many of your fans so quickly. So of course he apologizes. Did he do it to get his career back on track? Yes. Did he mean everything he said? I believe so.

Non-celebrity men who abuse women however don’t get as big of a punishment as having a whole world of people hating you. I’m sure I sound hypocritical about something, but this is just how I feel. It it never right for anyone to hit anyone. Boy hit girl. Boy hit boy. Girl hit boy. Girl hit girl. Violence is wrong. I don’t understand how anyone could want to hurt another person. Domestic violence in everyday people should not be forgiven. Chris Brown should not be forgiven, but he should be given another chance. Does that make any sense? I doubt it, but this is MY blog.

Maybe some of you are familiar with the website fmylife.com. I remember how I came across it in the first place. A lot of my friends were ending many of their statuses on facebook with FML. At first I thought this was some group thing that I was not a part of. This made me sad, but then I saw another status mentioning that the stories on FML were so funny. SO I went to the website, and boy were they right. I went through at least 100 pages of stories. They were hilarious. But recently, I have some suspicions.

I’ll start off by copying and pasting some recent stories posted on fmylife.com and explain my problems with each.

• Today, I was going to check out my secret condom stash. When I looked inside, I found a note. The note read: “Thanks hun, I really needed this. Love, Mom”. FML

I understand having a bit of a sexual mother. I have some friends with mothers like that. But – I highly doubt this mother left that note. I mean, that’s a perfect story with the perfect ending. Did it happen? I don’t think so. Reading stories so clever like this made me wonder if they were really true.

• Today, I got back from a romantic vacation at a fancy hotel with my boyfriend of 6 months. After a steamy love session, I confessed that I was in love with him. Later, when I got out of the shower, all his stuff was gone and I was stuck with the entire week’s hotel cost and no ride home. FML

Some guys are assholes, so this one isn’t THAT hard to believe. But here’s another.

• Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was ‘Don’t mess up the game for everyone’. FML

Here lies my #1 problem with some of the stories posted. Let’s pretend that they’re all true. Ok fine, so this really happened. Wow, that dad was really mean. I can’t believe it.

• Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn’t even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

OMG are there really people like this in the world? That’s awful.

• Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. The waiter brought some bread and I started eating it as I waited for him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me and said, “Don’t eat too much bread honey. It’ll make you fatter.” Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML

Seriously you guys. Why would a waiter say that to a customer? Especially if he wants to get a tip.

That is really my problem with fmylife.com. It shows everyone how many rude and mean people there are out there. If the stories there are true, it’s very sad.

But I still go to the site every day. The stories are hilarious.

Acacia : Secret love. You better hope your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t know what these mean. Better tell your part-time lover to stick to late night visits and none of that mushy flowers and candy secret admirer shit.

Azaela: Take care of yourself for me. Or, in other words, I don’t give a fuck about you. Goodbye.

Begonia: Beware. If someone gives you these, run. No really.

Black rose: Death. Ooh, who stuck this one in the oven? That’s one creepy looking flower. Why anyone would give this to someone is beyond me.

Spiderflower: Elope with me. Oh cool, an engagement flower. Sure saves a bunch of money and is much cheaper than buying a ring.

Viscaria: Will you dance with me? Give this to any girl at your school dance and she’ll have no idea what you want. You’ll have to explain what it means, completely ruining the moment. Unless that girl is me, because I’ll know exactly what message you want to get across. And sure, I’ll dance with you.

My friend introduced me to this hilarious sketch, and boy am I glad she did. So as a cute little tribute, here are the top 5 things I absolutely love about Ms. Swan.

5. The outfit

Anyone who can wear that 24/7 has my vote.

4. The catchphrases. Some of them being.

“Thanks to you.”

“He look … like a man.”

“Yeah okay.”

“You nice lady.”

“Ohh, you no say that before.”

“Gorja Pitty Booty Nail Salon.”

“I tell you everytin.”

3. The look. I have no idea what this face is supposed to mean, and I don’t care. I love it.

2. The way she pisses everyone off without meaning to. From using ATM machines wrong, to pushing buttons on planes, taking too long at eating establishments telling them what she wants and describing people (“He looka like-a man.”) It’s hilarious how she hardly acknowledges how angry these people get. And if things get bad, Ms. Swan just writes up a check.

1. This.

I don’t know you guys, I saw The Hangover today and I’m just not a fan. One main reason is because for the past two weeks my friend has been trying to get me to see this damn movie. First she wanted us to sneak in after seeing another movie. I just do not do two movies in one day. Then the next five times she asked me to go, I made up a wide variety of excuses. Oh, by the way, she had already seen The Hangover and loved it so much she was willing to go a second time. So I figured it had to be at least somewhat decent and I’d get a few laughs. Right? Weellll, not really.

The plot is pretty simple and mysterious. Four guys go to Vegas for a bachelor party and wake up the next morning with their groom to be missing. There is a tiger, a chicken, and a baby in their room. One of the men finds a hospital band around his wrist. Another man is missing two teeth. WTF happened last night is the question asked by all. I’m just not a fan of movies where stupid retarded things happen. But then again, I’m a fan of sitcoms from the 80s and 90s where the humor was set up for you. I like laughing after getting a joke, not having something ridiculous thrown in my face. Especially in this movie, where things such as nudity are meant to be funny. Yes, I understand why others might think it funny, but I don’t know. It seemed to be trying to hard. In fact, the only thing I found even remotely funny about this movie was the gay Asian man, and the black Doug. Both of which happened near the end.

Would I see this movie again? Yeah, probably when it comes out on DVD. Maybe I’ll find myself having a different opinion then but I doubt it. I think that kind of makes me sound like a hypocrite for wanting to buy a movie I didn’t like. But I stay content in knowing that I didn’t pay to see it twice in theaters.

I’m not really sure what sort of things I will post here. Probably rants, recaps, reviews, any “R” word you could possibly think of. I’ll try to be funny, but I’m not promising anything.